Tootsie

She's the only thing I've ever loved that does not need a reason for being loved.

The viral infection is killing her. I can't even look at her eyes anymore without shedding a tear. Before it was so easy being happy. All I needed to do was see her, and she'd be answering me with an excited smile; the kind that gives you a value. All the life that I could remember was always with her. I never had friends in the neighborhood, I may not even have a true real friend, she was the only friend I've ever had. When I was sad, I'd go to her, and she'd be wearing that beautiful smile as if saying "Life is simple. Look at me, I'm very much happy by simply being, by watching the sun rise and fall, by simply living."

She loved walks, she loved it when I arrive back home even if I was just gone for 15 minutes. She loved running. She loved food. She loved the sound of a bouncing ball. Those late night walks will be missed. The way I documented her life in my mind...

I love you, Tootsie. You make me very happy in my lonely life. You sincerely own a big credit of my happiness.

I'm sorry I gave you broken promises. I'm sorry if I ignored you. I'm sorry if I never gave you those long walks when the day was so beautiful; that's all you ever wanted. I'm sorry I didn't play with you enough. I'm sorry if I gave you pain. I'm sorry for being an irresponsible friend.

I don't ever want you to hurt. I want you to be happy again. I miss your smile. I terribly miss that smile. I just wish I spent more time with you. I just wish I've made you happier, because that's really the only thing that keeps me going, I just really want to make happy the ones I love.


I love your loyalty. I love your companionship. I will never replace you.